Look out people, there is a new kind of crack in town. Irresponsibly yet intentionally, this new crack is in the form of an innocent cookie. I give you… PC’s Candy Cane “Eat the Middle First” Cookies.
First I heard about these cookies by word of mouth. Not just any mouth, but my boss who has impeccable taste and a refined palate that I generally trust. She joked about how her and her husband accidentally went through two boxes in two days, without the help of their kids. Recreational use, I thought. She was just looking for a good time, a sugar buzz. She may have hinted that I should try them, but now that I think about it, not directly. I wonder if her delivery included a slight warning that I didn’t recognize, or perhaps I refused to hear the warning bells on my quest for a new experience to shake up my otherwise non-existent cookie eating life.
We were at the supermarket, and suddenly found myself deliberately looking out for these cookies. I hadn’t had one yet but was already prowling the aisles in a cookie hunt madness. Eager doesn’t even cover it, I found the idea of their wickedness unavoidably appealing. More non existent alarm bells. Suddenly, a moment where time stood still and the sound of pre Christmas chaos in a normal supermarket was muffled. I was looking through a lens that had this box in the centre, crystal clear in its brilliant colourful glory, everything else faded into an uninteresting blurry mess. I saw this:
One won’t hurt, I thought. I just want to try it, see what the fuss about. How bad/good can these be? I mean, they are only cookies!
The time came in the evening where the cat was fast asleep and we had the evening to ourselves. Why not, we thought. Let’s try just one in the comfort and safety of our own home. Within seconds the box was ripped open, the cellophane torn away carelessly in anticipation, and with a huge hearty sniff the decadent fragrance of evil wafted up our nostrils, and it was exhilarating. It started with a small nibble. Then a larger bite. Before we knew it, we had spiraled out of control and had demolished three cookies each within minutes. These Candy Crack Cookies had us hooked, and there is no other word for it, they are addictive. The consuming process was a vicious circle – the intoxicating scent, the pure pleasure and satisfaction of eating, then the heavy plummet of realization, sad and broken knowing the cookie has gone, leaving only the need for more. Just one more cookie… JUST ONE MORE!
You have been warned. Move over bloody caesars, turns out these candy cane cookies are the new crack.