I am not sure how it started, or even if I started it, but somehow through social media I became some sort of Bacon Stalker, everyone started seeing me as a Bacon Lover, or even a Bacon Expert, if you will. Which is odd really, considering I rarely eat bacon. My most common used words are ‘pancetta would set this on fire’ and ‘lets wrap that in prosciutto’. But bacon? It’s not even a blip on my radar.
Not to say I don’t like bacon, I do, honest. But do I love bacon itself? I think not. Sure I have been known to say things like ‘bacon makes everything better’, but who doesn’t say that? Yes, ok, so I laughed my ass off with a girl I met who had her own her own bacon obsession as she told me about all the different bacon related products you can get (ie bacon car smells, air freshener, bacon pills to flavour water, that sort of thing). And did I fall in love with bacon jam? Sure, yes, that was me. But obsession? I think not.
In fact, I often cringe when something is wrapped in bacon, I even get bacon fat rage when unexpected streaky bacon appears in my wrap and/or sandwich.
Maybe it stems from a meat obsession, such as MeatFest, Meatventures and other meaty nonsense. I happily put my hand up for that one. I do find bacon themes intriguing, plus bacon does provide excellent comic value. Either way, I am not here to set the record straight, or hate on bacon, but perhaps to embrace it. And it is a year of firsts after all.
On the weekend I couldn’t say no to a maple bacon vanilla cupcake. We have avoided this kind of thing at all costs in the past, such as maple donuts dipped in bacon, etc. We have been known to enjoy the odd Canadian breakfast (here they just call it breakfast), but I blame the maple syrup, not the bacon which I would happily forego. The cupcake though? I couldn’t say no this time, so I got us one each.
What would you think about this? What would you expect when you get a mouthful of maple bacon vanilla cupcake?
Well, all I can tell you is I didn’t get what I expected, that’s for sure, and I am glad. I thought I would secretly fall in love and actually have a problem with these. But it was rather disgusting. Almost feral, actually. The icing tasted like bubblegum and was thick, like biting into a firm hunk of lard (I imagine, I haven’t actually bitten in to lard, ever, and there are no immediate plans to). The maple flavour hardly existed, and the bacon was greasy. Really really greasy. And spansor don’t like no grease. The vanilla cupcake underneath was pretty good though, once I scooped that fatty gross crap off the top of it.
So how do I feel about this? Relieved and disappointed at the same time. I really don’t need another unhealthy obsession, but this does disprove my theory – it turns out bacon doesn’t make everything better.